For my second long essay, I would like to work on the organization. I'm unsure if I should focus on both students or just on one. Clearly, the story of one of the students is more intense, but I feel both stories help to clarify my focus. I've been trying to think of more scenes to add to the story, but I'm drawing a blank. I attempted segmenting with the use of conversations from my childhood math teacher/guidance counselor and social worker. I'm unsure if the segments were successful simply because the reader doesn't know the italics are from conversations via email or notes from the two previously noted individuals. I'm also concerned about the level of engagement for my readers; I would like to make the story more "dramatic" but I don't want to fabricate any details.
In regards to which essay I'm going to revise, it would probably be my first essay. That essay has been sitting for about two weeks, so upon reading it, I'll probably have a fresh perspective. I plan to follow the advice of our conference and remove unessential information. I would add more scenes to bring forth my focus so the reader can clearly decipher what my essay is about. This is all contingent upon our second conference.
No comments:
Post a Comment